i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
