Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize