I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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