There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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