i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
