and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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