they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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