My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize