it glows. i had to have it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
