Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he thought i was a dude.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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