We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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