I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
