i think my mom watched the whole time
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
