I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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