i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
