My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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