Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
