i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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