And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
