I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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