I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
not ubering you a puppy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
