You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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