I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
