It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
