i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
