fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
