Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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