Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize