No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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