What a fucking waste of an outfit
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
