But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
