I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
