You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
