I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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