I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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