I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
why is half of my head shaved?
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