Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His hands were made for my vagina.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
