I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
