lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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