this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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