Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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