so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
