Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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