girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
