Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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