Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
