Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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