your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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