garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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