I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize