i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize