Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
