but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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