I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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