I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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