She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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