I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
