Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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