i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
