When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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