Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
