A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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