hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
