I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
